There is a natural instinct within all of us to turn our eyes away when things get heavy. When we face grief, failure, or even the messy parts of our own personalities, our first impulse is often to look at the floor or close our eyes tight, hoping the discomfort will simply vanish if we ignore it. But Roxane Gay reminds us of a profound truth: we cannot truly move past what we refuse to acknowledge. To heal, we must find the courage to look directly at the difficult things, not with judgment or harshness, but with a gentle and steady kindness.

In our everyday lives, this looks like facing the hard conversations we’ve been avoiding or sitting with the sadness that bubbles up during a quiet evening. It is so much easier to distract ourselves with endless scrolling or busywork than to sit with a heavy heart. However, avoidance often acts like a fog that keeps us stuck. When we look away, the difficulty doesn't disappear; it just stays hidden in the shadows, waiting to catch us off guard. True progress only begins when we turn the light toward the struggle.

I remember a time when I felt overwhelmed by a mistake I had made, and I spent days trying to bury the feeling under a mountain of chores. I thought if I stayed busy enough, I wouldn't have to feel the sting of regret. But the weight only grew heavier. It wasn't until I sat down, took a deep breath, and told myself, It is okay to be human and it is okay to have stumbled, that the pressure finally began to lift. I had to look at my mistake with compassion rather than criticism to find my way back to peace.

Applying this kindness to our difficult moments doesn't mean we have to like the pain, but it means we stop fighting the reality of it. It means treating our struggles like a wounded friend who needs a soft place to land rather than an enemy that needs to be defeated. When we approach our shadows with warmth, they become much less frightening.

Today, I want to invite you to check in with yourself. Is there something you have been avoiding looking at? If there is, try not to turn away. Instead, take a small, brave step toward it and see if you can offer yourself just a little bit of the kindness you would give to anyone else.