It is a heavy truth to face, but Judith Herman reminds us that our natural instinct when faced with something terrible is to look away. When we encounter cruelty, injustice, or deep pain, our minds often try to protect us by building walls. We push those difficult images and memories into a dark corner of our consciousness, hoping that if we don't acknowledge them, they might lose their power to hurt us. It is a survival mechanism, a way to keep our daily lives moving forward without being overwhelmed by the weight of the world's shadows.

In our everyday lives, this happens in much smaller, quieter ways too. We might ignore the sadness in a friend's eyes during a casual lunch, or we might suppress the memory of a mistake we made years ago because it feels too shameful to revisit. We create a sanitized version of our reality, a polished surface that hides the cracks underneath. While this helps us function in the moment, it also creates a distance between us and our true experiences. We end up living in a state of avoidance, where we are physically present but emotionally disconnected from the full spectrum of human existence.

I remember a time when I felt this way deeply. I was going through a period of great loss, and I found myself becoming incredibly busy, filling every single minute of my day with tasks and distractions. I told myself I was being productive, but in reality, I was just running away from the silence where my grief lived. I thought that by banning the pain from my consciousness, I was healing. But the pain didn't disappear; it just sat there, heavy and unaddressed, waiting for me to stop running. It wasn't until I sat quietly with that discomfort that I actually began to find any real peace.

Healing doesn't come from forgetting or ignoring the hard parts of our stories. It comes from the brave, often uncomfortable work of bringing those shadows back into the light. When we stop banishing the difficult truths, we reclaim our ability to feel deeply and authentically. It is much harder to look at what hurts, but it is the only way to truly integrate our experiences and find wholve. I invite you today to gently check in with yourself. Is there something you have been pushing away? You don't have to face it all at once, but perhaps you can start by simply acknowledging that it exists.