There is something so beautifully messy about the way Dodie Smith describes family. Calling it a dear octopus with tentacles that wrap around us is such a vivid, slightly overwhelming, yet deeply tender image. It captures that feeling of being caught, held, and occasionally tugged in a dozen different directions at once. We often try to strive for total independence, acting as if we want to be untethered, but the truth is that those very connections—the ones that feel a bit too tight sometimes—are often what keep us grounded when the world feels like it is spinning out of control.
In our everyday lives, these tentacles show up in the smallest, most mundane ways. It is the way your mother knows exactly which tone of voice means you are stressed, or the way a sibling can irritate you with a single text message but also be the first person you call when something goes wrong. We spend so much of our adulthood trying to define ourselves apart from our kin, yet we find ourselves constantly weaving their histories, their quirks, and even their predictable habits into the very fabric of who we are. We might try to swim away, but we never truly want to be free of that embrace.
I remember a time when I was feeling particularly overwhelmed by my own responsibilities. I was trying so hard to prove I could handle everything on my own, acting like a little duckling trying to swim against a massive current all by myself. I felt so lonely in my strength. Then, a family member called, not to solve my problems, but just to share a silly story about a shared childhood memory. In that moment, I felt those familiar tentacles wrap around me. It wasn't a restriction; it was a safety net. It reminded me that I didn't have to be a solitary island.
It is okay to acknowledge that family can be complicated and even a little bit suffocating at times. The beauty lies in the fact that we don't actually wish to escape. We find comfort in the entanglement. Today, I want to encourage you to lean into one of those connections. Reach out to someone who shares your roots, even if it is just to say hello. Embrace the beautiful, tangled complexity of being loved and known by others.
