Life often presents us with a difficult choice between a harsh reality that breaks our spirit and a gentle, comforting illusion that keeps us going. We sometimes find ourselves clinging to small, beautiful lies just to survive a difficult day, like telling ourselves everything will be fine when we are secretly overwhelmed. Colson Whitehead reminds us that while these little delusions might offer temporary shelter, there is a much more powerful force we can rely on: the truth of kindness. Unlike a delusion, which eventually fades when the light hits it, kindness is a truth that remains sturdy and useful no matter how much the world changes.
I think about this often when I see how we interact with the people around us during stressful times. We might be tempted to ignore a friend's obvious struggle because facing the truth feels too heavy, or we might pretend everything is perfect just to avoid an uncomfortable conversation. But when we choose to approach that person with kindness, we aren't avoiding the truth; we are bringing a different kind of truth to the table. We are acknowledging that even if the situation is difficult, the care we have for them is real and undeniable.
I remember a time when I was feeling particularly lost, much like a little duck lost in a heavy fog. I was trying to convince myself that I was perfectly fine, creating a little bubble of denial to protect my heart. A dear friend didn't come to me with a blunt, painful critique of my behavior, nor did they join me in my pretend world. Instead, they simply sat with me and offered a warm, kind presence. Their kindness didn't hide the truth of my struggle, but it made the truth much easier to bear. It turned a scary reality into something manageable.
When we choose kindness, we aren't being naive. We are choosing to ground ourselves in something that actually works to heal and build bridges. A delusion is a solitary place, but kindness is a shared one. It is a way of saying that even in the midst of life's most unvarnished truths, there is a soft place to land.
As you move through your day, I invite you to look for opportunities to be that useful truth for someone else. When you encounter a difficult reality, try not to hide from it, but instead, layer it with a layer of compassion. How might your world change if you focused less on avoiding the hard truths and more on bringing kindness into them?