When we hear the word justice, our hearts often lean toward a very specific side. We naturally want to see the rightness of our own cause validated and our grievances acknowledged. Eleanor Roosevelt’s words remind us, however, that true justice is not a victory for one party over another, but a delicate balance that encompasses both sides of a story. It is a profound reminder that if we win by trampling on the truth or ignoring the humanity of our opponent, we haven't actually achieved justice; we have only achieved a temporary triumph of ego.

In our everyday lives, this concept shows up in much smaller, more intimate ways than in a courtroom. It appears in the heated arguments we have with our partners, the misunderstandings with our siblings, or the friction we feel with our coworkers. When we are hurt, our instinct is to build a wall around our perspective and demand that the other person see only our pain. But a resolution that ignores the other person's reality is just a fragile truce, not a healing resolution. Real peace only arrives when both perspectives are held with equal weight and respect.

I remember a time when I was quite upset with a dear friend of mine. I felt certain that I had been overlooked and undervalued during a difficult week. I spent hours rehearsing my grievances, preparing to prove exactly why I was the victim in the situation. However, when we finally sat down to talk, I forced myself to listen to her side first. I discovered that she was navigating a silent struggle of her own that had nothing to do with me, but had certainly affected her ability to show up for me. By seeking a justice that included her experience, the resentment melted away, replaced by a much deeper connection.

Finding this balance requires a great deal of courage and a willingness to be vulnerable. It asks us to step out of our self-righteousness and enter a space of empathy. It is much harder to seek a middle ground than it is to demand total victory. Yet, it is only in that middle ground where lasting harmony resides. The next time you find yourself in a conflict, try to look beyond your own need to be right. Ask yourself if the solution you are seeking leaves room for the other person to be seen, heard, and respected as well.