Sometimes, we look at leadership as if it were a magic wand, something we can simply wave to get everyone to follow our lead. We want our ideas to be embraced and our directions to be taken without question. But Machiavelli’s words remind us that true influence isn't about the power we hold over others, but the wisdom we hold within ourselves. To command others effectively, we must first master the art of understanding, empathy, and responsibility. It is about knowing the weight of the words we speak and the energy we bring to a room.

In our everyday lives, this shows up in much smaller, quieter ways than a political throne. It happens in how we parent our children, how we lead a project at work, or even how we navigate a disagreement with a dear friend. We often expect people to listen to us because we are 'in charge' or because we feel we are right, but true command comes from earning respect through competence and care. If we want others to follow our vision, we have truly have to learn how to communicate that vision in a way that resonates with their hearts and minds.

I remember a time when I was trying to organize a small community garden project. I went in with so many instructions, thinking that being 'the leader' meant having all the answers and telling everyone exactly what to do. I thought that by being firm, I was being a good commander. But instead of excitement, I saw my friends pulling away. They didn't feel heard or valued. It wasn't until I stopped directing and started listening—learning their strengths and asking for their input—that the garden actually began to bloom. I had to learn how to command through connection rather than through control.

Real leadership is a continuous learning process. It requires us to study the needs of those around us and to refine our own character. When we focus on being worthy of the trust placed in us, the act of commanding becomes much more natural and much more impactful. It is no longer about making people do what we want, but about inspiring them to move toward a shared purpose.

As you go about your day, I invite you to reflect on a situation where you are seeking influence. Are you trying to force an outcome, or are you working on the skills and the empathy needed to truly lead? Perhaps today is a wonderful day to practice listening more than speaking.