Sometimes, we walk through life feeling like we have let ourselves down. We look back at a missed deadline, a failed exam, or a relationship that didn't work out, and we label it a mistake. We carry the heavy weight of regret, thinking that if we had just been smarter, faster, or stronger, the outcome would have been different. But B.F. Skinner offers us such a gentle perspective when he reminds us that a failure isn't always a mistake; it might just be the very best we could do given the tools and the circumstances we had at that moment.

It is so easy to judge our past selves using the wisdom we only gained after the fact. We look back with 20/20 vision, forgetting that back then, we were tired, overwhelmed, or perhaps lacking the information we have now. When we call ourselves failures, we often ignore the reality of the storm we were navigating. We forget that even the most skilled sailors cannot control the height of the waves or the strength of the wind. Sometimes, simply staying afloat is a monumental victory, even if we didn't reach the shore exactly as planned.

I remember a time when I felt completely defeated after a project I poured my heart into didn't go as planned. I spent nights replayng every single decision, convinced I had made a massive error. But as I sat quietly and reflected, I realized I was working through a period of immense personal loss and exhaustion. I wasn't failing because of a lack of skill; I was simply operating at the very edge of my capacity. I was doing the absolute best I could with a very heavy heart, and recognizing that changed my entire view of that period of my life.

As you move through your week, I want you to try being a little kinder to yourself. When you encounter a setback, instead of searching for what you did wrong, try asking yourself what your circumstances were. Were you burnt out? Were you unsupported? Were you learning something new? Give yourself permission to accept your efforts as valid, even if the results weren't perfect. You were doing your best with what you had, and that is enough.

Take a moment today to look back at a recent struggle and breathe a sigh of relief. Try to release the blame and replace it with compassion for the person you were in that difficult moment. You are growing, and every version of you deserves grace.