There is a moment most of us have lived through — standing in the kitchen after doing something we probably should not have done, watching our mother's face shift from worry to frustration to something that looks almost like relief. Pearl S. Buck captured that moment so honestly when she wrote, "Some are kissing mothers and some are scolding mothers but it is love just the same and most mothers kiss and scold together." It is one of those truths that feels simple on the surface, but the more you sit with it, the deeper it goes.
Motherly love has never been a single, clean emotion. It is layered and complicated and sometimes contradictory. When a mother raises her voice, it is rarely because she stopped caring — it is almost always because she cares too much. The scold comes from the same place as the kiss. Both are born from a heart that is so full of love for you that it sometimes spills over in ways that are not always soft or quiet. That tension between tenderness and correction is not a flaw in love. It is love being honest.
I think of a friend who used to resent how her mother would fuss at her constantly — about her choices, her posture, her eating habits. For years, she saw it as criticism. Then one day, sitting in a hospital waiting room while her mother recovered from a small surgery, she realized something. Every single thing her mother had ever scolded her about was something her mother had secretly been afraid of losing. The fussing was not judgment. It was fear dressed up in a loud voice. That realization changed everything between them.
BibiDuck often thinks about this when it comes to the people who love us most fiercely. Love does not always arrive in a gentle package tied with a ribbon. Sometimes it arrives as a worried phone call at midnight. Sometimes it arrives as a lecture you did not ask for. And sometimes, yes, it arrives as a warm hug right after the lecture ends — because the person who loves you cannot stay stern for long when you are standing right there in front of them.
If you have a mother in your life, or someone who plays that role, take a moment today to look past the surface of how their love is delivered and feel what is underneath it. And if you are a mother yourself, know that your kisses and your scolds are both seen, both felt, and both deeply meaningful. You do not have to be perfect to be profoundly loved — and neither do they.