Sometimes, we treat our emotional pain like an unwelcome guest that has crashed our party without an invitation. We try to bolt the doors, turn off the lights, and pretend we aren't even home. But as Gabor Mate wisely reminds us, the very act of trying to run away from our suffering is often what causes us the most profound agony. When we resist our feelings, we aren't actually making them disappear; we are simply adding a heavy layer of tension, anxiety, and exhaustion on top of the original wound.
In our daily lives, this resistance shows up in so many subtle ways. It is the way we distract ourselves with endless scrolling on our phones when a wave of sadness hits, or how we bury ourselves in work to avoid thinking about a relationship that is failing. We think we are protecting ourselves, but we are actually just creating a cycle of avoidance. This avoidance keeps the pain alive, trapped within us, swirling around like a storm that never gets the chance to pass through and clear the air.
I remember a time when I was feeling particularly overwhelmed by a sense of loneliness. Instead of sitting with that quiet, heavy feeling, I tried to fill every single second of my day with noise and tasks. I went to every social event, kept my calendar packed, and stayed busy until I was physically depleted. But the loneliness didn't go away; it actually grew louder in the silences between my tasks. It wasn't until I finally sat down, breathed deeply, and allowed myself to acknowledge that I was hurting that the pressure began to lift. By facing the emotion, I gave it permission to move through me.
Learning to stop running is perhaps the bravest thing we can do. It doesn't mean we have to enjoy the pain, but it means we stop fighting the reality of it. When we stop the struggle against our own hearts, we find a strange kind of peace. We create space for healing to actually begin, rather than just managing a crisis of avoidance.
Today, I want to invite you to take a tiny, gentle step toward yourself. If there is a feeling you have been running from, try not to push it away immediately. Just notice it. Give it a little bit of space to exist, and see if, in that moment of acceptance, you can find a small glimmer of relief.