When we first hear Simone de Beauvoir’s words, they can feel quite heavy, almost like a profound mystery. To say that one is not born but rather becomes a woman is to suggest that femininity is not a fixed destination we reach at birth, but a continuous, beautiful, and sometimes difficult process of creation. It tells us that our identity is not a static script written by nature, but a living story that we author through our experiences, our struggles, and our choices. It is a reminder that we are all works in progress, constantly shaping ourselves through the way we navigate the world.
In our everyday lives, we often feel the pressure to 'just be' ourselves, as if there is a finished version of us waiting to be discovered under a layer of dust. We look at social media or the expectations of our families and feel like we are failing because we don't fit into a specific, polished mold. But the beauty of becoming lies in the messy middle. It is found in the way we learn to set boundaries, the way we reclaim our voices after being silenced, and the way we redefine what strength looks and feels like for us personally, regardless of what society dictates.
I remember a dear friend of mine who spent years trying to embody a very specific, delicate version of womanhood that she thought was expected of her. She stayed quiet in meetings, smoothed over every conflict, and suppressed her natural vibrance to fit a certain aesthetic. It wasn't until she hit a period of deep exhaustion that she realized she was performing a role rather than living her truth. Slowly, she began to 'become' a different kind of woman—one who was loud, assertive, and unapologetically passionate. She didn't change her DNA, but she changed her soul, and watching her bloom was like watching a flower finally find the sunlight.
This journey of becoming is rarely a straight line. There are days when we feel we are moving backward, and days when we feel lost in the transition. But every choice you make to honor your own values is a stitch in the fabric of who you are becoming. You are not a finished product, and you don't have to be. You are a masterpiece in the making, and the brushstrokes are yours alone to decide.
As you move through your week, I invite you to reflect on one area where you are currently 'becoming.' Is there a new way of thinking or a new way of being that you are gently inviting into your life? Be patient with yourself during this metamorphosis; the most beautiful transformations often take time.