When we look at a butterfly dancing through a garden, it is so easy to get lost in the vibrant colors of its wings and the effortless way it glides on the breeze. We call it beautiful, and we marvel at its grace. But Maya Angelou reminds us of a profound truth: we rarely stop to acknowledge the messy, dark, and difficult transformations that made that beauty possible. The butterfly didn't just appear; it had to endure the complete dissolution of its former self inside a cramped, quiet cocoon. It had to struggle to break free, and that struggle is exactly what gave its wings the strength to fly.
In our own lives, we tend to do the same thing. We celebrate our friends when they land a dream job, get married, or finally find a sense of peace, but we often gloss over the sleepless nights, the tears, and the periods of deep uncertainty that brought them there. We love the finished masterpiece, but we shy away from the smudged charcoal and the torn sketches that happened in the studio. We want the bloom, but we forget the long, cold winter the seed had to survive underground.
I remember a dear friend of mine who always seemed so composed and successful. To everyone else, she was like that butterfly—radiant and steady. But one evening, while we were sitting quietly with our tea, she shared the reality of her journey. She spoke about the months she spent feeling completely lost, the heartbreak that felt like it would never end, and the terrifying moments when she had to let go of her old identity to grow into someone new. Seeing her strength in that moment made me realize that her beauty wasn't just in her outward success, but in the incredible resilience she forged in the dark.
It is okay if you are currently in your cocoon phase. It is okay if things feel heavy, confusing, or even a bit broken right now. Transformation is rarely pretty, and it is almost always a bit uncomfortable. As I sit here thinking about these changes, I am reminded that every struggle you are facing is quietly building the strength you will need for your next flight. Please be gentle with yourself during the transitions.
Next time you feel overwhelmed by a change in your life, try to pause and honor the process. Instead of rushing to the end, take a moment to acknowledge the courage it takes to evolve. What part of your journey, even the hardest part, are you most proud of surviving?